My Prayer - written in April/May 2012 and saved as a Draft

I just stumbled back on my blog, 5 years later.  It's amazing to me that this was sitting here just waiting for me.  I wrote this when Derek decided that he needed to find another job.  This was after less than a year of being in his new job.  The one where we packed up and moved 12 hours north away from friends and family for this great new opportunity.  I was at a point where I needed to get these words out but I couldn't confide in anyone else about what we were going through, which is obviously why it was never posted.  As always, our prayers were answered.  Derek got another job, we moved back to friends and family, I got another job, the kids survived the move and the new school, our marriage is still strong.  There was a lot of uncertainty back then.  There's still uncertainty now, but what a gift to be reminded of how God is in control and takes care of us.  Thank you Lord!  

Lord,

Life is crazy right now.  I thought it was crazy before but that was really just because we were busy.  Now it's just crazy in a different way and I don't really know how to handle it.  I'm a planner and right now, I can't plan because it seems like every time I do plan, the plan changes.  And it's causing me pain and sadness and anxiety and stress.  It's causing me to not trust You.  It's causing me to rely on myself instead of on You.  

In my heart, I know you are in control.  I know you will not leave us out in the cold.  I know you will hold us in your hands and walk with us through this.  I know many peoples' problems are much worse than this.  

In my mind, I know I have no control and it's driving me crazy.  I don't know where we will be living.  I don't know if we will have jobs.  I don't know where my kids will go to school next year.  There are so many unknowns.  Even the timeframe is an unknown.  

Lord, help me to stop the worrying.  Help me to stop the crazy.  Help me to stop thinking and pondering and wondering and planning.  Help me to seek You and to hold Your hand through this.  Help me to realize that we can only do so much and the rest will be covered by you.  Thank you for dear friends who are praying fervently for us to get through this.  Thank you for dear friends and family who are praying selfishly for us to find a way back to them.  If it be your will, please let us go home and have a job there for Derek, a job where he can excel.  Please guard his heart and his mind as he goes through this trial.  Please cling on to him so that he does not lose faith.  Please remind him to still do his best to the glory of your name even though he is frustrated and angry and feeling many of the same things that I am feeling.  Please safeguard our marriage so that it becomes even stronger and that we are not torn apart through this trial.  Please guard our children, so that no matter what the future holds, they will be in your hand and will get through this.   

Amen.

The Boy's Birthday

Little boy celebrated the big 6 this past week!  And that meant a gluten-free bake fest in my house.  I made gf oreo truffle cake pops that were oh so delicious but not very pretty (especially when I think about how cute his cake pops were last year for school complete with camo colors and army men on top).  Then I made him a batch of gf cupcakes.  For his party, I made a regular batch of cupcakes with homemade buttercream frosting and I ate a few too many of those.  They were so good...  And then today, I made the Betty Crocker Gluten-Free Chocolate-Marshmallow Pillow Cookies that he had originally requested to take to school (I chose the oreo cake pops instead because they looked easier and less messy for school). Too much sugar in my house!  But I finally figured out how to bake those cookies so that they aren't crumbly.  Since I can't use eggs, I always use the egg replacer, but it doesn't give enough binding.  So today I decided to just add a couple tablespoons of warm water and voila, perfect cookies!  They tasted like regular chocolate chip cookies or it could just be that it's been so long since I've made regular chocolate chip cookies that I'm just used to the gf version now.  I think I'll be making them more often now that I figured out the problem.

Little boy had a fun party at The Alley.  We invited all the boys in his class and all but one showed up.  They had a great time bowling and playing arcade games.  He even got a strike!  Here are a few pictures from the event:

I had never seen these ramps before - what a great idea!

Thank you cousins!

Thank you Grammie!

Thank you Nana and Poppop!

An Invite!

Last night on the bleachers of the Y, someone made my last seven months day by uttering the simple words, do you want to play Bunco?  Bunco is such a silly game, but it's not about the game.  It's about being included and being thought of enough to be introduced to 11 other people with the expectation that you will continue to get together with those 11 other people on a regular basis.  It's not that I haven't found a "group" - I have my mom's prayer group at school.  I have a couple of people that I go work out with (also moms from school).  But I had not found anything outside of school or church that was just for me.  Granted I have not put in much effort in that area, but dropping hints here and there, asking people what they like to do around here, etc has gotten me nowhere.  I may not even like the people at Bunco, but at least I know I like the hostess.  And the other girl that was sitting on the bleachers with us who also was invited.  Turns out that their Bunco group has been dwindling which happens.  But maybe their Bunco group has been dwindling so that I could make some new friends.

Last week we were invited to lunch with another couple.  Little boy had spent the night at their house and we were trying to figure out what time to pick him up when she suggested we just meet at lunch.  They introduced us to a great little burger joint out on an airstrip, Stearman Field.  It was one of just a few places around here that remind them of Austin.  That's right, they are from TX too.  And I'm so thankful to have met them because they get it.  They get that it's just different here and to quote my new friend, "the only normal people I've met here are from out of state."  That makes me laugh because sadly it's pretty true.

Recovery and a new Visitor

D had his sinus surgery on Tuesday and wow, what a difference a few years makes!  After his last surgery, he looked like he had been beaten up with bruising, tape across his nose and some of the most disgusting things you can imagine, well, I won't go on.  He was in pain.  He had headaches for what seemed like forever, at least 4-6 weeks and it was so hard on him that I questioned whether it was worth it at the time.  He assured me that it was.  This time, he came out with no bruising, no bleeding (that I know of), no swelling and a piece of gauze taped across his upper lip to catch anything that might come out...nothing did.  The only pain that he has really complained about is his throat from being intubated.  He's had some pain in his sinuses, but he hasn't complained about it at all.  I should preface this with the fact that today is his first day without the serious painkillers he was given, so it could all go downhill from here.  But, I've been pleasantly surprised so far.  I hope he gets some relief soon.

Yesterday little girl received a visitor through the mail!  One of her friends from her previous school mailed her "Traveling Tracy" which is basically like Flat Stanley.  Tracy went to school with her today and I'm hoping that her teacher can let her have a few minutes to read the letter and take a picture of Tracy with the class.  I'm not so sure that is going to happen, so just in case, I happen to be going up tomorrow for lunch and will take the picture myself if I have to.  Her class is so busy this month with a state project - they have been researching all year and have written an outline and started the rough draft of their reports.  At home, they have to make either a poster or a shoebox float that shows five facts about the state.  Too bad we don't have the float done because we could take a picture of Tracy on it!  I'm planning to also take a picture of Tracy playing in the snow today when she gets home.  There's not enough for the kids to play in it, but there's certainly enough for a 6 inch piece of paper doll to do so!  Plus, those kids in TX don't get to see snow very often.  And I'm happy to say that I was able to drive successfully to the Y last night in the snow.  Lucky for me, it stopped while we were there so I didn't have to deal with too much of it on the car or the roads when we left.  There was a little ice in the parking lot, but it didn't affect my driving.  :-)  

Little boy is having a birthday party next week.  We're going to The Alley for some bowling and games. He's excited about it.  I'm excited that I won't have to plan another one for a couple of years.  Hope that doesn't make me sound like a bad mom!  

Four posts in one day, why not?

More pictures of our holiday season...

Little girl had a dance recital called Breakfast with Santa in early December.  She is in the Dance Level II class based on age and not on experience.  They did really well for being first year dancers.

We also had a Christmas program at school.  It was very impressive, but also very long.  They both did a great job!

Little girl and her friend singing their "duet" line

Keeping time

Finger Cymbals

And because I think it's funny - here's Oscar in his usual spot

Fa la la la late

So yes, it is the 9th of January but like I said in a previous post (or maybe I didn't say it but thought it), I finally uploaded some pictures from the camera.  Go me!

We celebrated Christmas morning on the 23rd because we were planning to drive to Houston on the 24th.  Unfortunately, little boy had a fever the day before and still the morning of, so we decided to delay our trip just to make sure.  After opening presents, he lay around on the floor and then about 8:30 that morning he threw up.  After that he was fine.  He even managed to smile through most of the pictures.

Oscar got a Pooter (or Tootsie as little girl calls it)

starting to fade...

All Tucker wanted was a box to scratch his chin

Pond Pictures

goose on frozen pond (taken Dec 2011, pond is not currently frozen)

sunset

sunset II (taken seconds after previous but with night portrait setting)